Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How They Find Me - Take 2

It's time for another installment of "How They Find Me"! Here, we take a look at what some people enter into their Google Search bar that brings them to my site. Be afraid.

has been keeping me up for days - What has? A scary movie? The fact that the US lost to Canada in hockey? Global warming? This is in no way a complete thought, and it's pretty rude of you to make Google's job that much harder.

wine fills a glass of love - While this doesn't really make sense, I will still agree with you because "wine", "love", and "fills a glass" are all in the same sentence.

persnickety people commercial - I believe that this post brought this person to me. Also, I hate the word persnickety.

gag wine - Wine is never a joke people!!! I mean is there a more cruel prank to pull on someone than "gag wine"? You sir, are an asshole.

red wine burrito - Hey, I'll try anything once. Where can I find one of these?

difference between yogurt and cake - Are there really still people out there who don't understand this? I thought I covered it in the post linked above, but apparently there are some lost souls out there. Let me make it clear one more time: The difference between yogurt and cake? Is EVERYTHING!!!

cook oat bran in microwave - I don't recommend it.

Oat Bran Fart - That. Is. Disgusting. And why do you need to google this?

no! those pants are ridiculous, this is just weird - What's weird is you having a conversation about clothes with Google. It doesn't wear pants...it's a search engine.

the morning after costume - Ah, the morning after costume. I'd say it looks like smeared mascara, a flushed face, a torn dress, ripped stockings, and stilletos that weren't meant for walking home hungover in. Not recommended for women with any self respect, but probably inevitable for most women at some point in your life.

no pants sit on glass table tops - EWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Why why why why would anyone do that? Why???? Oh, I see...hahahaha. But still ew and not ok. Tables are for setting your wine glass on, not for sitting on naked.

i'm gonna make you gag - If you're the same person who googled the above item, you already did. Either way, what the hell?

That's all I have for today, but I think that's enough...don't you?

Also, don't forget to go here and vote once a day for the Game Changers project! It's a program that Geoff works for that helps teach kids about nonviolence and healthy relationships. Thanks!

8 comments:

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

Seriously bizarre!

Laurnie said...

Hahaha you seriously make me laugh. That was rad. I remember your oatmeal in the microwave was one of the first blogs I ever read

Phoebe said...

hahaha this post and the things people google just crack me up. The number one thing that leads people to my blog..."bird shit." Yep, nice huh? I get some other interesting ones too. I may have to do a post like this sometime too! You are hilarious though. :) Red wine burrito made me laugh out loud...what the hell??

Kathryn said...

HA! I swear...it's more than a little scary to see what info people are looking for.

BTW: I'm guessing that on a couple of those, it's people looking for songs...and they only remember one line.

But yikes...they could at least put the word "lyrics" after it. Google's smart...but not that smart.

JenJen said...

I need to get this tool. What a crack up. And? yogurt and cake? Um...seriously. People need more than google to help them out.

Allison said...

Ew. I have heard of sitting on a copy machine to make a funny copy of your ass, but who needs to sit bare-assed on a glass table. ICK.

LiLu said...

The idea of joke wine makes me sad in my pants.

lifelove'n'wine said...

Meagan: I know!

Laurnie: Aw, thanks so much! I'm glad I can make people laugh. The oatmeal post was one of my favorites just because that morning was so ridiculous.

Phoebe: Bird shit? That's great! I know, what is with the red wine burrito? I think I'll have to google that now and see what I find, haha.

Kathryn: Yeah, I've thought that too. It's still funny though!

JenJen: Exactly. There is pretty much no hope for you if you think yogurt and cake are the same. Poor people.

Allison: I know...this is taking things to a new, unnecessary level

LiLu: Me too. Me too.